Our wedding-Thursday April 2, 2015
Written by Chantal Bellehumeur
(This memoir was shared with friends and family shortly after our wedding, but never published in any books.)
My boyfriend Jeffrey and I planned on living together, starting in the summer of 2015.
Although we had not been together for long, we felt a great connection and knew pretty early in our relationship that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with each other and grow old together.
We had fallen deeply in love with one another after almost giving up hope of ever finding the right person for us.
We briefly discussed marriage on a few occasions, but both of us felt that a wedding was too expensive. I had my teenage son Aidan's education to think about, plus Jeff and I wanted to put a decent amount of money aside for our eventual retirements. Plus, I had travelled to many places and wanted to continue doing so; Jeff wanted to start exploring parts of the world with me. So, we decided on saving for a big trip rather than spend it on a wedding.
It crossed our minds to have a small simple wedding, but I knew a lot of planning was involved because of the way my girlfriends had talked about their weddings. Plus, neither one of us was really sure where to shorten the guest list without offending anyone. We realized we wanted to do something for us, not a show for everyone else even though we wished to share our love for each other and happiness with others.
Although we gave up on the idea of having a traditional wedding one day, I still wanted Jeff to propose to me and wear a ring that would symbolize our mutual agreement to be together forever.
I first suggested getting simple promise rings, but it kind of reminded Jeff of high school and he much preffered to buy me a nice engagement ring. I wasn't completely against the idea but did not want him spending too much money on a ring either. Also, we didn't want to be the couple that got engaged and never set a date.
We had a feeling people would not understand if we told them we wanted to exchange rings just for us, and that they would keep asking about a future wedding... We had to keep reminding ourselves that we were doing this for us as a couple, not anyone else, and that it should not matter what other people thought as long as we were happy with what we chose to do.
Jeff formally asked me to spend the rest of my life with him on Valentine's Day and we went shopping for some rings the following day; there were some really good sales at the jewellery stores so we took advantage of that.
Choosing the right ring was like picking a life partner. We did not want to settle for just anything, and when we found the right one we knew.
I instantly fell in love with a thin silver ring that had two perfect hearts in the centre of it. Small black diamonds were on the inside of the smaller heart, and white gems where on the outside forming the bigger heart.
Jeff chose a simple thick carbon loop which I later got engraved on the inside. This was at a different jewelry store. We visited a few.
We were able to take Jeff's ring home right away because it did not need to be sized like mine did. The ring was placed in a nice little brown and golden box after I bought it. Jeff picked up my ring at the store about a week later, but I had to bring it back to have it taken down half a size so it would not slip off my finger.
After trying my resized ring at the jewellery store to make sure everything was okay, I placed it back in the maroon and gold ring box originally given to Jeff. I explained that my boyfriend wanted to be the one to put it on my finger and the jeweller said she thought that was really cute.
We kept our engagement a secret, which was rather hard for me. But, Jeff and I had agreed to only tell people about the rings once they were on our fingers.
I was pretty good at not telling the exciting news to anyone close to me even though I really wanted to, but I will admit that I slipped when talking to my younger sister over the phone on her thirtieth birthday. Then a few weeks later I ended up telling the friendly nurse I see regularly at my infusion clinic. Jeff wasn't upset at me though. By that point he said it was okay to mention it to acquaintances and work colleagues if I really needed to share the news with somebody, which I did.
For me, it wasn't about showing off a pricey ring but rather sharing the fact that Jeff and I were making a serious commitment.
Originally, we were going to exchange rings during a romantic horse carriage ride in the old port of Montreal on the evening of our one year anniversary and then go out to dinner. We informed Aidan the weekend before over supper at St-Hubert restaurant and he said he could make a contract for us and approve it, which inspired me.
I found a fun marriage certificate online while discretely browsing on the internet at the office during a dead moment at reception, and printed it out on a white sheet of paper before my college got back from his lunch break. I had to keep it hidden with my work stuff to avoid getting asked questions, and took it home with me.
That night, I proposed something to Jeff while we were having our usual evening conversation on the phone and he accepted. I then told Aidan of the new plans and started putting things in order. First in my head, then for real.
Jeff and I ended up having a small wedding ceremony in the living room of my basement apartment on the evening of our anniversary, which was on Thursday, April 2 2015.
Using two small wooden folding tables placed side by side as well as a white table cloth, I set up an altar by the window two days before. Using items around the apartment, I decorated the space.
I placed the printed marriage certificate on the left table along with a white feather pen and three Lindor heart shaped chocolates wrapped in red foil.
In the centre of the made up alter, I put the first picture Jeff and I took together, which was actually a group picture taken on the set of The Aviator almost a dozen years earlier. I was twenty two years old at the time and Jeff was thirty one.
I also put a nice picture of us taken during our first trip together. We were standing in front of lit falls in Niagara, Ontario at night. That was during the summer of 2014, about four months after we became a couple. How that came to be is another fun story, which was actually published in a memoir anthology called It's About Living, put together by Durham Editing.
Jeff had bought me a nice silver heart shaped necklace in Niagara, which I wore almost every day. I took it off and placed it with the two frames. On the alter, I also put a new necklace with a black gem heart and white gem exterior that perfectly matched the ring I would soon be wearing on my wedding finger even thought it did not come from the same store.
Along with the two framed pictures and necklaces, I placed two antique looking metal wine cups, two red glass heart shaped candle holders with white vanilla scented tealights inside, a white candle holder with an unused white taper candle inside, an extra red taper candle, a lighter with hearts on it, a Celtic seal, and our rings within their boxes.
On the right table, I put a white heart shaped ring pillow my son had held when he was the ring bearer at one of my friend's weddings many years before. Memories of my adorable blond haired boy in a black suit came to mind and I sighed at the thought that he was already becoming a man. His voice had changed, he was already taller than me, and wore braces.
I was happy to have found a good role model for Aidan since his father wasn't all that present in his life anymore. I was also glad that my son and Jeff got along very well.
My focus soon came back to my wedding preparations.
I loved the vows used in the animated movie Corpse Bride and Jeff had agreed to say them with me so I put a printout of the words below the pillow with a red metallic heart shaped box of Lindor chocolates.
Jeff came over that night, as he normally does on Tuesdays, and told me he loved what I had done on such short notice.
I was rather satisfied with myself but modified a few things the following evening.
First off, I added two long beige marble like candle holders with small white taper candles on each side of the alter.
The ring pillow was moved to a thick off-white Greek pillar placed in front of the alter, and our rings were placed on the pillow. I was curious to see if my white budgie would stay still on the pillow and she did. But, I did not end up using her during the ceremony. Both my birds remained inside their large cage. They were the witnesses to me and Jeff's union. That was of course just for fun since we needed to put two names as witnesses on the contract, which was not a legal document.
I thought something was missing and realized I needed some sort of aisle to walk on so I put fake red and pink rose petals on my hard wood floor from the altar to the entrance of my living room.
I used my old digital camera to take a few test pictures and found the right lighting in my living room, then took good pictures of the setting I had created. I informed Aidan that he would be our wedding photographer and he was okay with that.
Now it was time to prepare my wedding gown etc.
I have a collection of dresses from different time periods hanging on one of my hallway walls and happen to own a white one. I brought the fancy Victorian style dress to my bedroom and took out my accessories for the next day; dangling white peal earrings my dad gave me for Christmas one year, a new necklace with several fake blue gems, a frilly white and blue garter I had purchased on sale long ago in case I ever got married one day, and a white theatrical eye mask from another one of my collections.
I painted my long fingernails dark blue to match the necklace I would be wearing as well as the flower I decided I should hold while walking down the aisle; the dried long stem blue rose Jeff had given me for Valentine's Day, knowing I liked original things.
I realized I would need music to walk down the aisle and knew what to look for right away; not the tradition bridal song, but rather Pachelbel's Canon. I easily found some videos on Youtube. After listening to a few seconds of one of the recordings, I saved the link on my ipad mini.
I told Aidan he would be in charge of pressing the start button from my Ipad mini when Jeff was ready for me at the alter, and to come get me in my room.
Before going to bed, I e-mailed Jeff a personal poem I had written for our anniversary. It was based on our original plans but I still wanted him to read it. He had written something for me as well, which he sent me by e-mail too. I received his message full of personal promises in the morning and it made me smile. I responded to him with promises mirroring his.
I got a bit cheesy on Facebook and sent Jeff a cartoon picture of an elderly couple hugging with the caption "Grow old with me. The best is yet to come." I also posted a happy anniversary picture on his wall.
I was so anxious that Thursday that I had trouble concentrating at the office. I hoped that I would have enough work to keep me really busy and got my wish. I almost had to stay later than usual to help one of my colleagues, but said I couldn't.
Jeff on the other hand, had to stay at the office a few extra minutes, but he did not keep me waiting in my tight white dress for too long.
I managed to get ready without having to rush too much, and relaxed a little bit in my bedroom with Aidan after combing my long wavy strawberry blond hair, putting on a bit of makeup to give myself a nice frosty look, making sure my nail polish did not need a touch up, and placing my theatrical mask on my forehead using the thick elastic attached to it. It was too tight to wear it properly but I liked the way I had it on.
Everything looked perfect in my opinion, but then I realized I needed something borrowed and quickly asked Aidan to please get me his dragon chain. He knew I meant the round metal dragon seal hanging on a thin metal chain he started wearing around his neck lately. I twisted the chain a few times and put it around my thin right wrist.
Now everything was truly perfect and I could not wait for Jeff to arrive. I kept looking at the digital clock in my room, wondering exactly where he was and how much longer he would be.
While we were waiting, Aidan allowed me to step out into the front hallway and took a few pictures of me in my bridal gown. I hoped that Jeff would find me beautiful.
After being sent back to my bedroom, Aidan made me practice my vows even though it was unnecessary. Jeff and I had planned on reading the four simple lines from the printout, but I knew them by heart.
Aidan came in and out of my room as I patiently continued waiting for Jeff.
At one point, my son randomly read a poem about the meaning of love. The nice words were written in white on a red cloth parchment hanging on a wall at the entrance of my bedroom.
It went as follows:
The Meaning of Love
SOMEONE
Who makes you feel good
about living,
Who brings out the you who is giving.
This is the meaning of Love
SOMETHING
That gives you a chance
to be strong,
or trust in another
to help you along.
This is the meaning of Love
SOMEWHERE
That you feel like
you've been forever,
a place where you're growing
and learning together.
This is the meaning of Love
(Author unknown)
I nicely asked Aidan if he could read The Meaning of Love during the ceremony and he agreed because he knew it would make me happy. He usually does not like to read in front of other people.
My son took the parchment off its nail on the wall, rolled it up, and tucked in in the right sleeve of his navy blue sweater. He had not changed out of his high school uniform.
Aidan had asked me if he needed to wear something fancy, but I told him to wear what he wanted so he would be comfortable.
We heard the apartment buzzer, which was Jeff announcing that he had arrived in the building. A few seconds later, we heard him using his keys, which I had gotten done for him around Valentine's Day, to open the door. I quickly closed the bedroom door so he would not see me.
I heard the front door open and saw the hallway light turn on. Jeff said hi to Aidan and asked if he was allowed to say hello to me but my son said no because it was bad luck.
There was movement around the apartment and I knew that Jeff had gone to open a bottle of what I originally thought was red wine on the kitchen counter. If I had red the label before placing it there, I would have seen that it was actually a strong Porto.
It was Jeff's duty to pour the alcohol in the two metal glasses we would be using during our special ceremony.
Soon, Aidan knocked on my door. Holding my blue flower in my left hand, I intertwined my right arm in my fourteen year old son's left.
To the soothing violin music of pachelbel's Canon, Aidan slowly took me from my bedroom and walked me to Jeff in the living room. I was smiling from ear to ear, and for some reason nerves hit me and made me want to laugh.
I looked at my handsome forty one year old groom, who was dressed in brown pants, a white dress shirt, and a nice striped tie with different shades of light blue on it. He had dark socks on his feet and no shoes, but in all fairness I had told him over the phone the night before that I was going to be barefoot and at the very last minute decided to wear my brown lace boots.
I am only 5"2, but with my high heals on and Jeff wearing no shoes I was almost his hight.
When we reached the altar, Aidan delicately placed my right hand in Jeff's left and read The Meaning of Love to us while we held hands.
It was now time for Jeff and I to exchange vows as well as rings. I went first.
Looking into Jeff's blue eyes, I lifted my right hand and said: "With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine." I took one of the wine cups from the alter and carefully lifted it to Jeff's lips so he could take a sip of the Porto.
I lit the white taper candle in the candle holder, took fire from it with the red taper candle and transferred the burning flame to the white tealight candle within one of the glass heart shaped candle holders. I then gave the heart to Jeff saying "with this candle, I will light your way into darkness."
Jeff placed the candle on the alter as I took his ring from the white heart shaped pillow in front of us. "With this ring, I ask you to be mine," I said before placing the loop on his wedding finger.
Jeff said his vows in a similar fashion as me. He did his best to look into my green eyes as he spoke but needed to double check the printout.
Nobody objected to our union; not even one of the two birds Snow and Link, who are usually super loud, made a sound.
We kissed sweetly and the music ended as though everything had been perfectly timed. The whole thing had lasted exactly five minutes and thirty two seconds.
Although my son usually covers his eyes at couples kissing and lets out disgusted noises, he told Jeff and I to hold our kiss so he could take a memorable picture for us. We were happy to do so.
I then tightly wrapped my arms around Jeff's neck in a loving embrace, which he returned and also gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek.
Jeff and I remembered to sign the fun marriage certificate I had printed, which was then officiated by Aidan and sealed with red wax using the dragon seal I was still wearing. Although we technically were not legally married, to each other we were now husband and wife. We had just made a lifelong commitment to each other.
We toasted each other with the wine glasses and drank more of the Porto.
When everything was said and done, Jeff felt the need to change his ring to his right hand. He said it felt more comfortable there and I had already given him my okay the day I purchased it for him. All I really cared about was him wearing it, and I knew he was happy to do so.
After bringing the rings home, we would sometimes both open the ring boxes to get a quick look at them. We both looked forward to wearing them, and told each other regularly.
Now that the rings were on our fingers, it was time to celebrate.
Aidan rushed to eat some canned ravioli in the kitchen while Jeff and I went in my bedroom to get changed.
First, I made my husband remove the wedding garter off my left leg. Jeff then helped me out of my fancy dress and I put on other white clothing; a long white skirt as well as a white top. I also removed my blue necklace and replaced it with my new heart necklace. Jeff simply removed his tie and exchanged his white dress shirt for a brand new light blue one.
The plan was for my son to sleep at his friend Cecilie, whom was like a sister to him. Cecilie's mom Sylvie, who had been a close friend of mine since our kids were young, understood that Jeff and I would want some privacy later on. As far as she knew though, we were simply celebrating our anniversary not out wedding.
Jeff and I planned on going out to a nice restaurant called Monkland Grill for dinner to celebrate our special day. We had eaten there on or first outing together, and had gone there for our 6th monthaversary. We liked the varied menu, the prices, and the fact that it was never super busy. We did not bother making a reservations because there are always tables available no matter when we go.
We pleasantly walked arm in arm in some light rain, with Jeff holding his umbrella over our heads. About ten minutes later, Jeff and I reached "our restaurant," as we started calling it, and sadly discovered that it was closed. We weren't sure if it was just for renovations or for good.
Slightly disappointed but able to move on, we continued walking along Monkland road until we reached a small Italian restaurant called All Dante. The place was packed, but we managed to get a table without having to wait too long.
We looked at the menu and ordered plates of pasta; spaghetti with bolognese sauce for myself and penne with a rose and prosciutto sauce for Jeff. We had planned on having a glass of wine each with dinner, but the restaurant did not offer any. It was the type of place where people could bring their own wine. We decided to just have a drink after we got home instead. There was plenty of Porto left.
We ate some sliced bread and drank some cold water while we waited for our food. Our bowls of pasta with freshly cut herbs and added parmesan came very quickly.
It was a bit hard to hear each other talk because everyone around us was loud; one group of people was laughing often as a result of what we believed to be a lot of wine drinking.
Jeff and I were so hungry that we mainly concentrated on our meals. The food was delicious.
Near the end of my meal, I noticed something was off about my wedding ring. "Don't get mad," I said to Jeff. Feeling bad, I then told him that one of the small black diamonds on my ring had fallen off. He took a brief look at my ring, which was still on my finger, and calmly suggested going to the jewellery store to get it fixed. I thought it had been too long since he had purchased it. The ring still looked nice despite the missing gem, so I told Jeff that a chunk of the heart was missing because, as much as I loved him, there would always be a special place in my heart for Aidan.
Jeff did not argue with me. If I was okay with the ring being broken, as he said, than so was he. He kept teasing me about having broken my ring though. At least I had not lost it!
The minor issue with the ring did not ruin our night. We continued to eat while smiling at each other.
Although I was getting full, I ended up finishing my entire big portion. Jeff did the same with his food.
There was no room in our stomachs for dessert after our meals, but coffee sounded nice. I actually became a coffee drinker shortly after I started dating Jeff because he loves it so much. It became our thing to go to cafes together. We really enjoyed checking out new ones, but also liked going back to familiar ones.
Jeff and I decided to go to the Starbucks down the street, where we had gone on one of our first dates, and managed to get seats right in front of their lovely stone fireplace.
Jeff ordered himself a cappuccino and a caramel macchiato for me. We drank our hot beverages by the warm fire, enjoying each other's company. It was much easier to converse at the cafe.
When our drinks were done, we started walking back to my place. It had stopped raining by then.
We managed to catch a bus, which got us home a bit quicker.
I won't get into details about what Jeff and I did when we got home, but let's just say that it was a typical wedding night.
We had the next day off because it happen to be good Friday so we slept in and then had breakfast at a nice cafe we loved called O graces de Madelaine, which had opened up near my place about six months earlier.
Jeff and I sat at our regular table by the window and ate a fresh croissant, two fried eggs, two breakfast sausages, cut up tomatoes and apple pieces, plus drank good coffee. The sun was shinning brightly through the window and made us feel warm. It was almost like sitting on an outdoor terrace.
Halfway though our meal, we saw Aidan and his friend Cecilie walking by so waved to them and motioned them to come inside the cafe. I gave them both a taste of my big croissant and the teens were offered a free glass of lemonade each by the young owner.
The teens left when they were done their refreshing drinks. Jeff and I had refills on our coffees and asked for some water but were given lemonade instead.
Back home, it was time for me to start announcing the good news. I made somme long distance calls to my family and best friend Sarah. I talked to my mom as well as my dad from Ottawa, and Sarah from Belgium. They were very happy for me. It took a few days to get a hold of my sister Karyne in New Brunswick. She had been away in Halifax.
Jeff made his big announcement to his parents, younger sister Heather, and brother in law Darren the following day during an Easter family get together. Everyone officially welcomed me to the family and during dinner a toast was made to us, Mr. and Mrs. Overall. I liked the sound of that even though I was not planning on legally changing my last name. In the province of Quebec, women don't tend to change their maiden names after they get married anyways.
We didn't have a honeymoon, but plan on saving money to go on a romantic trip in a couple of years. I am thinking Venice, Italy. I saw a breathtaking colour picture of the European city above a travel article in one of our local newspapers and it made me want to go there with Jeff.
Before that can happen, our focus is on Jeff moving in with me and Aidan, which will be a bit sooner than originally planned.
After living together for a year, the provincial government will automatically see us as common law partners, which is almost the same as being married. So, we don't really feel the need to spend money on getting a legal document signed by a notary that states we are married. We know in our hearts that we are.
Our wedding-Thursday April 2, 2015
Written by Chantal Bellehumeur
My boyfriend Jeffrey and I planned on living together, starting in the summer of 2015.
Although we had not been together for long, we felt a great connection and knew pretty early in our relationship that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with each other and grow old together.
We had fallen deeply in love with one another after almost giving up hope of ever finding the right person for us.
We briefly discussed marriage on a few occasions, but both of us felt that a wedding was too expensive. I had my teenage son Aidan's education to think about, plus Jeff and I wanted to put a decent amount of money aside for our eventual retirements. Plus, I had travelled to many places and wanted to continue doing so; Jeff wanted to start exploring parts of the world with me. So, we decided on saving for a big trip rather than spend it on a wedding.
It crossed our minds to have a small simple wedding, but I knew a lot of planning was involved because of the way my girlfriends had talked about their weddings. Plus, neither one of us was really sure where to shorten the guest list without offending anyone. We realized we wanted to do something for us, not a show for everyone else even though we wished to share our love for each other and happiness with others.
Although we gave up on the idea of having a traditional wedding one day, I still wanted Jeff to propose to me and wear a ring that would symbolize our mutual agreement to be together forever.
I first suggested getting simple promise rings, but it kind of reminded Jeff of high school and he much preffered to buy me a nice engagement ring. I wasn't completely against the idea but did not want him spending too much money on a ring either. Also, we didn't want to be the couple that got engaged and never set a date.
We had a feeling people would not understand if we told them we wanted to exchange rings just for us, and that they would keep asking about a future wedding... We had to keep reminding ourselves that we were doing this for us as a couple, not anyone else, and that it should not matter what other people thought as long as we were happy with what we chose to do.
Jeff formally asked me to spend the rest of my life with him on Valentine's Day and we went shopping for some rings the following day; there were some really good sales at the jewellery stores so we took advantage of that.
Choosing the right ring was like picking a life partner. We did not want to settle for just anything, and when we found the right one we knew.
I instantly fell in love with a thin silver ring that had two perfect hearts in the centre of it. Small black diamonds were on the inside of the smaller heart, and white gems where on the outside forming the bigger heart.
Jeff chose a simple thick carbon loop which I later got engraved on the inside. This was at a different jewelry store. We visited a few.
We were able to take Jeff's ring home right away because it did not need to be sized like mine did. The ring was placed in a nice little brown and golden box after I bought it. Jeff picked up my ring at the store about a week later, but I had to bring it back to have it taken down half a size so it would not slip off my finger.
After trying my resized ring at the jewellery store to make sure everything was okay, I placed it back in the maroon and gold ring box originally given to Jeff. I explained that my boyfriend wanted to be the one to put it on my finger and the jeweller said she thought that was really cute.
We kept our engagement a secret, which was rather hard for me. But, Jeff and I had agreed to only tell people about the rings once they were on our fingers.
I was pretty good at not telling the exciting news to anyone close to me even though I really wanted to, but I will admit that I slipped when talking to my younger sister over the phone on her thirtieth birthday. Then a few weeks later I ended up telling the friendly nurse I see regularly at my infusion clinic. Jeff wasn't upset at me though. By that point he said it was okay to mention it to acquaintances and work colleagues if I really needed to share the news with somebody, which I did.
For me, it wasn't about showing off a pricey ring but rather sharing the fact that Jeff and I were making a serious commitment.
Originally, we were going to exchange rings during a romantic horse carriage ride in the old port of Montreal on the evening of our one year anniversary and then go out to dinner. We informed Aidan the weekend before over supper at St-Hubert restaurant and he said he could make a contract for us and approve it, which inspired me.
I found a fun marriage certificate online while discretely browsing on the internet at the office during a dead moment at reception, and printed it out on a white sheet of paper before my college got back from his lunch break. I had to keep it hidden with my work stuff to avoid getting asked questions, and took it home with me.
That night, I proposed something to Jeff while we were having our usual evening conversation on the phone and he accepted. I then told Aidan of the new plans and started putting things in order. First in my head, then for real.
Jeff and I ended up having a small wedding ceremony in the living room of my basement apartment on the evening of our anniversary, which was on Thursday, April 2 2015.
Using two small wooden folding tables placed side by side as well as a white table cloth, I set up an altar by the window two days before. Using items around the apartment, I decorated the space.
I placed the printed marriage certificate on the left table along with a white feather pen and three Lindor heart shaped chocolates wrapped in red foil.
In the centre of the made up alter, I put the first picture Jeff and I took together, which was actually a group picture taken on the set of The Aviator almost a dozen years earlier. I was twenty two years old at the time and Jeff was thirty one.
I also put a nice picture of us taken during our first trip together. We were standing in front of lit falls in Niagara, Ontario at night. That was during the summer of 2014, about four months after we became a couple. How that came to be is another fun story, which was actually published in a memoir anthology called It's About Living, put together by Durham Editing.
Jeff had bought me a nice silver heart shaped necklace in Niagara, which I wore almost every day. I took it off and placed it with the two frames. On the alter, I also put a new necklace with a black gem heart and white gem exterior that perfectly matched the ring I would soon be wearing on my wedding finger even thought it did not come from the same store.
Along with the two framed pictures and necklaces, I placed two antique looking metal wine cups, two red glass heart shaped candle holders with white vanilla scented tealights inside, a white candle holder with an unused white taper candle inside, an extra red taper candle, a lighter with hearts on it, a Celtic seal, and our rings within their boxes.
On the right table, I put a white heart shaped ring pillow my son had held when he was the ring bearer at one of my friend's weddings many years before. Memories of my adorable blond haired boy in a black suit came to mind and I sighed at the thought that he was already becoming a man. His voice had changed, he was already taller than me, and wore braces.
I was happy to have found a good role model for Aidan since his father wasn't all that present in his life anymore. I was also glad that my son and Jeff got along very well.
My focus soon came back to my wedding preparations.
I loved the vows used in the animated movie Corpse Bride and Jeff had agreed to say them with me so I put a printout of the words below the pillow with a red metallic heart shaped box of Lindor chocolates.
Jeff came over that night, as he normally does on Tuesdays, and told me he loved what I had done on such short notice.
I was rather satisfied with myself but modified a few things the following evening.
First off, I added two long beige marble like candle holders with small white taper candles on each side of the alter.
The ring pillow was moved to a thick off-white Greek pillar placed in front of the alter, and our rings were placed on the pillow. I was curious to see if my white budgie would stay still on the pillow and she did. But, I did not end up using her during the ceremony. Both my birds remained inside their large cage. They were the witnesses to me and Jeff's union. That was of course just for fun since we needed to put two names as witnesses on the contract, which was not a legal document.
I thought something was missing and realized I needed some sort of aisle to walk on so I put fake red and pink rose petals on my hard wood floor from the altar to the entrance of my living room.
I used my old digital camera to take a few test pictures and found the right lighting in my living room, then took good pictures of the setting I had created. I informed Aidan that he would be our wedding photographer and he was okay with that.
Now it was time to prepare my wedding gown etc.
I have a collection of dresses from different time periods hanging on one of my hallway walls and happen to own a white one. I brought the fancy Victorian style dress to my bedroom and took out my accessories for the next day; dangling white peal earrings my dad gave me for Christmas one year, a new necklace with several fake blue gems, a frilly white and blue garter I had purchased on sale long ago in case I ever got married one day, and a white theatrical eye mask from another one of my collections.
I painted my long fingernails dark blue to match the necklace I would be wearing as well as the flower I decided I should hold while walking down the aisle; the dried long stem blue rose Jeff had given me for Valentine's Day, knowing I liked original things.
I realized I would need music to walk down the aisle and knew what to look for right away; not the tradition bridal song, but rather Pachelbel's Canon. I easily found some videos on Youtube. After listening to a few seconds of one of the recordings, I saved the link on my ipad mini.
I told Aidan he would be in charge of pressing the start button from my Ipad mini when Jeff was ready for me at the alter, and to come get me in my room.
Before going to bed, I e-mailed Jeff a personal poem I had written for our anniversary. It was based on our original plans but I still wanted him to read it. He had written something for me as well, which he sent me by e-mail too. I received his message full of personal promises in the morning and it made me smile. I responded to him with promises mirroring his.
I got a bit cheesy on Facebook and sent Jeff a cartoon picture of an elderly couple hugging with the caption "Grow old with me. The best is yet to come." I also posted a happy anniversary picture on his wall.
I was so anxious that Thursday that I had trouble concentrating at the office. I hoped that I would have enough work to keep me really busy and got my wish. I almost had to stay later than usual to help one of my colleagues, but said I couldn't.
Jeff on the other hand, had to stay at the office a few extra minutes, but he did not keep me waiting in my tight white dress for too long.
I managed to get ready without having to rush too much, and relaxed a little bit in my bedroom with Aidan after combing my long wavy strawberry blond hair, putting on a bit of makeup to give myself a nice frosty look, making sure my nail polish did not need a touch up, and placing my theatrical mask on my forehead using the thick elastic attached to it. It was too tight to wear it properly but I liked the way I had it on.
Everything looked perfect in my opinion, but then I realized I needed something borrowed and quickly asked Aidan to please get me his dragon chain. He knew I meant the round metal dragon seal hanging on a thin metal chain he started wearing around his neck lately. I twisted the chain a few times and put it around my thin right wrist.
Now everything was truly perfect and I could not wait for Jeff to arrive. I kept looking at the digital clock in my room, wondering exactly where he was and how much longer he would be.
While we were waiting, Aidan allowed me to step out into the front hallway and took a few pictures of me in my bridal gown. I hoped that Jeff would find me beautiful.
After being sent back to my bedroom, Aidan made me practice my vows even though it was unnecessary. Jeff and I had planned on reading the four simple lines from the printout, but I knew them by heart.
Aidan came in and out of my room as I patiently continued waiting for Jeff.
At one point, my son randomly read a poem about the meaning of love. The nice words were written in white on a red cloth parchment hanging on a wall at the entrance of my bedroom.
It went as follows:
The Meaning of Love
SOMEONE
Who makes you feel good
about living,
Who brings out the you who is giving.
This is the meaning of Love
SOMETHING
That gives you a chance
to be strong,
or trust in another
to help you along.
This is the meaning of Love
SOMEWHERE
That you feel like
you've been forever,
a place where you're growing
and learning together.
This is the meaning of Love
(Author unknown)
I nicely asked Aidan if he could read The Meaning of Love during the ceremony and he agreed because he knew it would make me happy. He usually does not like to read in front of other people.
My son took the parchment off its nail on the wall, rolled it up, and tucked in in the right sleeve of his navy blue sweater. He had not changed out of his high school uniform.
Aidan had asked me if he needed to wear something fancy, but I told him to wear what he wanted so he would be comfortable.
We heard the apartment buzzer, which was Jeff announcing that he had arrived in the building. A few seconds later, we heard him using his keys, which I had gotten done for him around Valentine's Day, to open the door. I quickly closed the bedroom door so he would not see me.
I heard the front door open and saw the hallway light turn on. Jeff said hi to Aidan and asked if he was allowed to say hello to me but my son said no because it was bad luck.
There was movement around the apartment and I knew that Jeff had gone to open a bottle of what I originally thought was red wine on the kitchen counter. If I had red the label before placing it there, I would have seen that it was actually a strong Porto.
It was Jeff's duty to pour the alcohol in the two metal glasses we would be using during our special ceremony.
Soon, Aidan knocked on my door. Holding my blue flower in my left hand, I intertwined my right arm in my fourteen year old son's left.
To the soothing violin music of pachelbel's Canon, Aidan slowly took me from my bedroom and walked me to Jeff in the living room. I was smiling from ear to ear, and for some reason nerves hit me and made me want to laugh.
I looked at my handsome forty one year old groom, who was dressed in brown pants, a white dress shirt, and a nice striped tie with different shades of light blue on it. He had dark socks on his feet and no shoes, but in all fairness I had told him over the phone the night before that I was going to be barefoot and at the very last minute decided to wear my brown lace boots.
I am only 5"2, but with my high heals on and Jeff wearing no shoes I was almost his hight.
When we reached the altar, Aidan delicately placed my right hand in Jeff's left and read The Meaning of Love to us while we held hands.
It was now time for Jeff and I to exchange vows as well as rings. I went first.
Looking into Jeff's blue eyes, I lifted my right hand and said: "With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine." I took one of the wine cups from the alter and carefully lifted it to Jeff's lips so he could take a sip of the Porto.
I lit the white taper candle in the candle holder, took fire from it with the red taper candle and transferred the burning flame to the white tealight candle within one of the glass heart shaped candle holders. I then gave the heart to Jeff saying "with this candle, I will light your way into darkness."
Jeff placed the candle on the alter as I took his ring from the white heart shaped pillow in front of us. "With this ring, I ask you to be mine," I said before placing the loop on his wedding finger.
Jeff said his vows in a similar fashion as me. He did his best to look into my green eyes as he spoke but needed to double check the printout.
Nobody objected to our union; not even one of the two birds Snow and Link, who are usually super loud, made a sound.
We kissed sweetly and the music ended as though everything had been perfectly timed. The whole thing had lasted exactly five minutes and thirty two seconds.
Although my son usually covers his eyes at couples kissing and lets out disgusted noises, he told Jeff and I to hold our kiss so he could take a memorable picture for us. We were happy to do so.
I then tightly wrapped my arms around Jeff's neck in a loving embrace, which he returned and also gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek.
Jeff and I remembered to sign the fun marriage certificate I had printed, which was then officiated by Aidan and sealed with red wax using the dragon seal I was still wearing. Although we technically were not legally married, to each other we were now husband and wife. We had just made a lifelong commitment to each other.
We toasted each other with the wine glasses and drank more of the Porto.
When everything was said and done, Jeff felt the need to change his ring to his right hand. He said it felt more comfortable there and I had already given him my okay the day I purchased it for him. All I really cared about was him wearing it, and I knew he was happy to do so.
After bringing the rings home, we would sometimes both open the ring boxes to get a quick look at them. We both looked forward to wearing them, and told each other regularly.
Now that the rings were on our fingers, it was time to celebrate.
Aidan rushed to eat some canned ravioli in the kitchen while Jeff and I went in my bedroom to get changed.
First, I made my husband remove the wedding garter off my left leg. Jeff then helped me out of my fancy dress and I put on other white clothing; a long white skirt as well as a white top. I also removed my blue necklace and replaced it with my new heart necklace. Jeff simply removed his tie and exchanged his white dress shirt for a brand new light blue one.
The plan was for my son to sleep at his friend Cecilie, whom was like a sister to him. Cecilie's mom Sylvie, who had been a close friend of mine since our kids were young, understood that Jeff and I would want some privacy later on. As far as she knew though, we were simply celebrating our anniversary not out wedding.
Jeff and I planned on going out to a nice restaurant called Monkland Grill for dinner to celebrate our special day. We had eaten there on or first outing together, and had gone there for our 6th monthaversary. We liked the varied menu, the prices, and the fact that it was never super busy. We did not bother making a reservations because there are always tables available no matter when we go.
We pleasantly walked arm in arm in some light rain, with Jeff holding his umbrella over our heads. About ten minutes later, Jeff and I reached "our restaurant," as we started calling it, and sadly discovered that it was closed. We weren't sure if it was just for renovations or for good.
Slightly disappointed but able to move on, we continued walking along Monkland road until we reached a small Italian restaurant called All Dante. The place was packed, but we managed to get a table without having to wait too long.
We looked at the menu and ordered plates of pasta; spaghetti with bolognese sauce for myself and penne with a rose and prosciutto sauce for Jeff. We had planned on having a glass of wine each with dinner, but the restaurant did not offer any. It was the type of place where people could bring their own wine. We decided to just have a drink after we got home instead. There was plenty of Porto left.
We ate some sliced bread and drank some cold water while we waited for our food. Our bowls of pasta with freshly cut herbs and added parmesan came very quickly.
It was a bit hard to hear each other talk because everyone around us was loud; one group of people was laughing often as a result of what we believed to be a lot of wine drinking.
Jeff and I were so hungry that we mainly concentrated on our meals. The food was delicious.
Near the end of my meal, I noticed something was off about my wedding ring. "Don't get mad," I said to Jeff. Feeling bad, I then told him that one of the small black diamonds on my ring had fallen off. He took a brief look at my ring, which was still on my finger, and calmly suggested going to the jewellery store to get it fixed. I thought it had been too long since he had purchased it. The ring still looked nice despite the missing gem, so I told Jeff that a chunk of the heart was missing because, as much as I loved him, there would always be a special place in my heart for Aidan.
Jeff did not argue with me. If I was okay with the ring being broken, as he said, than so was he. He kept teasing me about having broken my ring though. At least I had not lost it!
The minor issue with the ring did not ruin our night. We continued to eat while smiling at each other.
Although I was getting full, I ended up finishing my entire big portion. Jeff did the same with his food.
There was no room in our stomachs for dessert after our meals, but coffee sounded nice. I actually became a coffee drinker shortly after I started dating Jeff because he loves it so much. It became our thing to go to cafes together. We really enjoyed checking out new ones, but also liked going back to familiar ones.
Jeff and I decided to go to the Starbucks down the street, where we had gone on one of our first dates, and managed to get seats right in front of their lovely stone fireplace.
Jeff ordered himself a cappuccino and a caramel macchiato for me. We drank our hot beverages by the warm fire, enjoying each other's company. It was much easier to converse at the cafe.
When our drinks were done, we started walking back to my place. It had stopped raining by then.
We managed to catch a bus, which got us home a bit quicker.
I won't get into details about what Jeff and I did when we got home, but let's just say that it was a typical wedding night.
We had the next day off because it happen to be good Friday so we slept in and then had breakfast at a nice cafe we loved called O graces de Madelaine, which had opened up near my place about six months earlier.
Jeff and I sat at our regular table by the window and ate a fresh croissant, two fried eggs, two breakfast sausages, cut up tomatoes and apple pieces, plus drank good coffee. The sun was shinning brightly through the window and made us feel warm. It was almost like sitting on an outdoor terrace.
Halfway though our meal, we saw Aidan and his friend Cecilie walking by so waved to them and motioned them to come inside the cafe. I gave them both a taste of my big croissant and the teens were offered a free glass of lemonade each by the young owner.
The teens left when they were done their refreshing drinks. Jeff and I had refills on our coffees and asked for some water but were given lemonade instead.
Back home, it was time for me to start announcing the good news. I made somme long distance calls to my family and best friend Sarah. I talked to my mom as well as my dad from Ottawa, and Sarah from Belgium. They were very happy for me. It took a few days to get a hold of my sister Karyne in New Brunswick. She had been away in Halifax.
Jeff made his big announcement to his parents, younger sister Heather, and brother in law Darren the following day during an Easter family get together. Everyone officially welcomed me to the family and during dinner a toast was made to us, Mr. and Mrs. Overall. I liked the sound of that even though I was not planning on legally changing my last name. In the province of Quebec, women don't tend to change their maiden names after they get married anyways.
We didn't have a honeymoon, but plan on saving money to go on a romantic trip in a couple of years. I am thinking Venice, Italy. I saw a breathtaking colour picture of the European city above a travel article in one of our local newspapers and it made me want to go there with Jeff.
Before that can happen, our focus is on Jeff moving in with me and Aidan, which will be a bit sooner than originally planned.
After living together for a year, the provincial government will automatically see us as common law partners, which is almost the same as being married. So, we don't really feel the need to spend money on getting a legal document signed by a notary that states we are married. We know in our hearts that we are.