One Year Wedding Anniversary
A memoir by Chantal Bellehumeur
I met Jeffrey Overall, "like the pants" as he once told me, on the set of "The Aviator" back in August of 2003. We instantly became friends and might have become more had I not been in a serious relationship and the mother of a young child. Although Jeff and I had a great connection, we eventually lost touch. We secretly thought about one another from time to time, wanting to reconnect but afraid to interfere in each other's lives. Jeff and I randomly met again about a decade later. I was no longer in a relationship with my son's father, but still romantically unavailable. I was unhappy with my love life though, and soon became single. Unable to deny the crush Jeff and I had on each other, we started dating and got married a year later; on Friday April 2, 2015 to be exact.
Jeff and I didn't have a lot of money for a big wedding, nor did we want one, so we exchanged rings privately after work during a short ceremony hosted by my fourteen year old son. Aidan was also the only human witness to our union. The other so-called witnesses were our two pet budgies, Link and Snow, who sadly passed away a few months later.
As far as the law is concerned Jeff and I are technically not really married because we never signed any legal documents, but we still consider ourselves as husband and wife. With love in our hearts, we made a promise to spend the rest of our lives together and intend to honour it.
Rather than have a typical honeymoon, my husband and I ended up going on a few romantic getaways together throughout our first year of marriage. It wasn't originally planned that way though.
We first booked a suite for two nights at the Chateau Veudreuil during our summer vacation in July 2015 while Aidan was away on a trip with his dad's side of the family. Jeff and I considered our mini trip to be a delayed honeymoon, but then ended up going away together a few other times and called it our extended honeymoon.
Our stay at the Chateau Vaudreuil was nice, but Jeff and I much preferred our Romeo & Juliet themed room at l'Auberge des nuits de reve in St-Agathe de Monts during the summer of 2015, the Tremblant Ranch in the fall of 2015, and the Esterel Resort in the winter of 2016. Our "go to" place outside the city of Montreal has now become the Laurentiens. No matter the season, it's our little slice of paradise away from home.
Jeff and I made it to our one year wedding anniversary without experiencing any typical marital problems. Living together was a slight adjustment at first, but we manage to share the space of our basement apartment without ever wanting to kill each other as I jokingly told my father once. Although we don't always agree on everything, or do things the same way, I can't recall ever arguing. We seem to be on the same page for most things and both keep an open mind when it comes to our other half's ideas or suggestions, plus we still have great communication. We also have a good system for splitting the rent, bills, and groceries etc, as well as sharing the housework. Jeff and I both have the same goals to do fun activities plus outings together (and with Aidan) as well as treat ourselves on occasion while living within our means to continue being debt free, plus put money aside for our retirements.
We've developed a nice routine were we get up together in the morning to eat breakfast in each other's company. On workdays, we basically just hang out in the kitchen together while I eat and Jeff prepares his smoothy as well as his lunch. Eventually we have to part so that I may brush my teeth etc. When I am ready to leave, I rejoin my husband in the kitchen to give him a hug and kiss, then when I am about to go out the front door Jeff comes into the hallway to give me some extra affection. When I get home from work, I cook dinner and usually wait for Jeff to get home to eat. Sometimes Aidan and I end up eating before him because we get too hungry. In that case, I still sit down with Jeff later on while he eats. My husband does the dishes, then we eventually sit down together to relax; usually it's to watch a television show or a movie and Aidan joins us from time to time, but sometimes we just chat or play games. Every now and then we decide to have time to ourselves. We don't go to sleep together anymore because Jeff finds that I go to bed too early, but he comes into our bedroom with me and lies down in bed beside me for a bit. We either talk and sometimes and up fooling around, or if I have very little energy Jeff caresses me until I am almost asleep. On weekends we tend to go to bed together.
My husband and I could not be happier. To celebrate our first wedding anniversary, Jeff and I had a few things in mind.
I for one considered going to a nordic spa in old Montreal since Jeff and I had enjoyed our experience at the Esterel Resort and both love being in old Montreal. However, after browsing on two spa websites and suggesting to Jeff that we go to the one that is on the top deck of a docked ship because I thought it looked cool and also saw that it offered dinner packages, I realized that we only really liked being in an outdoor hot tub and didn't particularly wish to try the hot/cold treatment. It made no sense for us to pay for access to cold pools, steam rooms, and saunas etc, just to sit in a hot tub.
Jeff said he thought about going to Al Dente, the bring your own wine Italian restaurant we ended up eating at on our wedding night, but we both remembered it being really loud. As an alternative, I suggested another local Italian restaurant called Pasta Casereccia. It doubled up as as a small grocery store and I knew they made their pasta sauces fresh every day so I figured they could accommodate my dietary needs and prepare something for me with no onions, garlic, or spices so that I would not be sick. That would require deciding what I wanted to eat ahead of time, and Jeff commented on the fact that I might not necessarily be in the mood for what I pre-ordered the evening of our anniversary.
I joked about eating at the new location of the Monkland Grill since Jeff and I were supposed to eat at the original location right after getting married, then go on a horse carriage ride like we had planned to do that same night to simply exchange rings rather than have a wedding ceremony. In other words, I suggested doing what we had originally planned on doing on our wedding day.
Since my husband and I no longer considered the Monkland Grill as "our place" ever since the restaurant moved, and we had recently gone on a horse drawn carriage ride in old Montreal together, we decided to spend our anniversary in old Montreal and eat at the Vieux Port Steakhouse. We had gone there in the summer and enjoyed eating on their terrace despite the many flying ants around. We knew it would not be warm enough to dine outdoors again, but we had briefly seen the interior of the restaurant and thought it looked nice and romantic at the time.
Because we weren't sure what we were going to do in the afternoon, Jeff and I decided not to make any reservations. We wanted to have freedom and eat when we got hungry rather than be on a schedule.
*****
On the Saturday morning of April 2nd 2016, the sun was shinning through our bedroom window. Jeff and I hoped that the weather would continue being nice because we had decided to go walk around in old Montreal together, but I had a feeling that the forecast had not changed. When I checked it online the previous day, it called for rain.
My husband and I ate an egg breakfast together while Aidan rushed out to go pick up a pay check. During his absence, Jeff and I took a quick shower together then exchanged anniversary presents. We had put each other's gifts in small metal boxes that looked like mailboxes. Mine was pink and Jeff's was red. The two mailboxes had been placed in the centre of the kitchen table along with two boxes of chocolates during breakfast.
I had half joked about eating some of the chocolates before our food was ready, but Jeff convinced me to wait. We planned on sharing the box of Belgium chocolates we purchased on sale, so my idea was to open the box we had been given at the Esterel Resort as part of our romantic package. Jeff and I had decided to keep it for our anniversary, but we actually ended up eating the six fine chocolates a couple of weeks later. We literally shared each chocolate which were from a chocolaterie in St-Adele according to the square sticker on the inside wrapping. Every night after the white box was opened, I would take a bite of two chocolates and give the other halves to Jeff.
In the meantime, the box with a black ribbon decorated our kitchen table. It looked nice with the box of belgian chocolates and our two mailboxes, ready to be opened.
I opened my mailbox first. Inside was a small cardboard container with the words "happy anniversary baby!'' handwritten on it. It made me laugh because it reminded me of a memory Jeff had shared with me earlier that morning. He said that while he was at the office he looked at a framed picture of us and said "hi baby" in his head. He automatically heard my usual comical response which is "hi grown man." Jeff said that made him laugh by himself at his desk. I started giggling at the thought when he told me.
The cardboard container was opened, and I pulled out a small black fabric bag from it. I loosened the strings and carefully slid the content out. It was a large oval chrome locket on a chain. The front side of it had metallic leaves and flowers slightly protruding from it, and the back side was bare. I carefully opened the locket and saw two pictures of Jeff and I; a picture of us in front of the lit falls in Niagara at night which was taken during our first trip together, and a picture of us in our suite at the Esterel Resort which had been our most recent trip together.
There was also a small white piece of paper folded like an accordion. I curiously unfolded the long rectangular note and read what it said. The words "One year has shown me more love than I thought possible in a lifetime. Happy Anniversary Sweetie! All my love, Jeff " had been typed in a nice font.
After reading the sentimental note, I folded it back to how I had found it and put it back inside the locket. I intended to keep it locked up between the two pictures.
I loved my gift and decided to wear it right away. I felt bad for removing the heart necklace Jeff had bought for me in Niagara Falls though. It had become my everyday piece of jewellery and I felt naked without it.
After slowly taking off my heart necklace, I attached my new chain around my neck and thanked Jeff for the lovely gift. My husband knew how much I loved lockets and Victorian inspired jewellery, so his well thought-up gift didn't go unnoticed. Earlier that morning, I was actually thinking of wearing a black chocker he had given me for Christmas. I much preferred showing off the locket.
Jeff opened his mailbox next. Inside it I had placed three heart shaped Lindor chocolates, a printed note with the fancy cursive words "Happy wedding anniversary" beside a cute picture of two teddy bears dressed as a groom and bride, and a folded white paper sealed with red wax. That paper had the typed link and password to an online time capsule I had created.
We relocated to the living room and sat down in front of Jeff's desktop computer. My husband entered the link and password to access the unpublished website I had worked very hard to do, and we briefly looked at the homepage as well as all the tabs together.
The site contained pictures, memoirs, and poems. I had attempted to also include videos, but it didn't work so that section was still in progress.
Jeff loved the website, but it made him feel like the gift he had given me wasn't enough. I assured him that it was, and told him he should not compare. Besides, I had created the time capsule not only for him but for myself as well.
My husband and I became all lovey-dovey...
Aidan got home a little earlier than expected, so we were glad not to be doing anything too intimate.
Jeff and I ate Italian wedding soup for lunch, then shared our heart shaped Belgian chocolates with Aidan even though he had not been hungry to eat a full meal. We ate three different kinds of chocolates each; raspberry, caramel, and almond. They were all quite tasty, but we each had different favourites.
Once the dessert was eaten, Aidan went back to his bedroom and I went to lie down on my bed for a couple of minutes because I was tired. Jeff joined me a few minutes later.
It started raining at around one o'clock, but it soon died down so Jeff and I became hopeful that we could spend some time outside. Jeff suggested visiting art galleries in old Montreal so we got ready to go and said bye to Aidan. He was playing on his computer and was perfectly fine with eating a can of ravioli for dinner later on.
Right before leaving the apartment, Jeff checked the weather app on his cell phone and said that it was going to be sunny for the rest of the afternoon. I didn't believe it and suggested we bring an umbrella just in case. Jeff thought it would just take up space, but ended up putting one in his bag anyways.
When we walked up the stairs to the lobby, we saw that it was pouring outside so Jeff had to take his umbrella out of his bag. A few minutes after starting to walk to the bus stop together, we saw a big flash of lightning and heard loud thunder. I began to laugh.
The rain dyed down while we were in the 162 bus, and there were no more drops hitting the large windows of the vehicle by the time we arrived at Villa Maria Metro Station. As we went down the first escalator, I mentioned that this is where we met for our first non-date, and where we shared our first hug since reconnecting. Smiling, Jeff pointed to the exact spot.
During the bus ride on Monkland Street, we had pointed out a few places we had gone together to eat or drink (The vacant original location of The Monkland Grill, Le Garde Manger Italien, Al Dente, St-Viateur Bagel, Cho-Chola, Rockaberry, Pizzedelic, Second Cup, Starbucks, Pizza Pinoli, not to mention the food trucks at street festivals); it was a nice little trip down memory lane.
I joked about going by every single place in the Montreal area we had ever gone to together, and Jeff said it would take a while since there would be a lot of neighbourhoods to visit.
As we were going down the second set of escalators in the metro station, right after the turnstiles, we heard the metro approaching and ran for it. We could have just taken the next one since we were in no rush, but became motivated to get onto this particular one once we saw that it was the new model-AZUR. It was the only one in circulation so far.
Once inside the spacious and clean new accordion metro with great ventilation, Jeff and I held onto a pole and my husband started showing me all the cool features since he had been on it before. I was impressed.
The AZUR metro reminded me of the tubes I had been in during my trip to the UK many years before, except that there was no recorded voice saying "mind the gap" in a British accent. Jeff wanted to know the French translation so he could say it when the metro doors opened, but it didn't have the same effect.
Jeff and I were able to get seats a few stops later and found them very comfortable.
We almost didn't want to leave the metro when we reached our stop, Place d'Armes, but got off anyways.
Sad to see the nice metro disappearing into the dark tunnel, Jeff and I tried not to think about the dirty old metro we would have to take to get back home and most likely to get to work on Monday...
We headed outside and walked hand in hand towards St-Paul street. I wondered where all the horse carriages were when we got close to the Notre-Dame Cathedral because there was always a few of them stationed on the streets around an open area with a statue and many benches. Several people wearing blue shirts were standing in that area, and we wondered what was going on.
A young bride as well as a groom soon walked by and the blue-shirt people suddenly started cheering. I am not even sure if the large group knew the woman in the white dress or the man in a tux. I guess you don't have to know a couple to be happy for them. I smiled when I saw them and commented to Jeff that they were getting married on the same date as us.
I began to wonder about the horse carriages again and thought that we might not see any because of the on and off rain. I was wrong, and quite happy when I heard the hooves of a horse hitting the cobble stones later on.
We were walking out of an art gallery when I heard the horse trotting, and took a long look at it as well as the carriage it was gracefully pulling as it went by us.
Afterwards, my husband and I continued visiting galleries on St-Paul Street. In most places we were left alone to look at the paintings and sculptures for sale as we pleased, while other times the salespeople would come talk to us.
While Jeff and I were looking at a horizontal canvas with the shape of a dolphin on an abstract background that included glued seashells, we were told that the female artist was only eighteen years old and that both her parents were painters as well. The friendly young saleswoman showed us their paintings which were quite different in styles, then kindly let us continue looking at the rest of the displayed paintings on our own.
It was interesting to hear about the different artists when salespeople approached us in other galleries, but we appreciated them leaving us alone after giving us basic information and not making us feel pressured into buying anything.
In one gallery we entered however, the passionate salesman came out of his office and was so eager to sell an expensive painting to us that the conversation that was initially very informative started becoming awkward and a bit uncomfortable. I liked the landscapes and European inspired paintings within the large gallery, but didn't feel that I would just buy one just like that even if I had the money. I would have to feel like I needed the painting, not just like it. Usually when this happens I end up buying prints or replicas.
Although Jeff and I had been impressed with two paintings that looked like unseen streetlights were shining on parts of them when the gallery lights were closed, making the framed artworks pleasant to look at in daylight or semi-darkness, we weren't planning on bringing one of them home.
The salesperson kept asking us which one we wanted, informing us of his personal favourites as well as why he liked them most. He wasn't shy about sharing his distaste for abstract art.
Because Jeff and I weren't quick at making a purchase, the salesperson told us that if we bought a painting from him and decided we didn't want it anymore for some reason, we could always come back and do a trade in the future if we felt like it. That still didn't make us want to purchase anything. In fact, his persistence made us want to leave.
Since we ended up in the man's office which had more paintings in it, Jeff and I gradually made our way out of the room and casually started looking at other things even though we had seen them all before. The man actually followed us and continued his commentary.
The painting Jeff liked the most was going to be presented at an art competition, and the salesperson told my husband that he could still buy it but that he would not be able to bring it home until after the art show.
Jeff and I slowly made our way to the exit of the gallery while trying to remain as polite as possible. When the salesman told us there were more paintings on the lower level, we truthfully told him we had seen them already.
Once we were finally outside, we both sighed in relief and hoped that our next visits would not be similar. Fortunately, they weren't and we were able to discuss our personal interests among each other only.
I really liked an oval shaped metal frame with butterflies coming out of it and thought it would be perfect for a mirror. However, there was no pricing beside it and I could not think of where we would hang it if we bought it anyways.
Another thing I liked was a tall wooden antique chair at the entrance of one of the galleries. The small bench opened, the tall back had a long mirror on it, and on each sides there were double metal hooks. Jeff make fun of me for being so interested in it, and commenting on more furniture as well as the nice fireplace inside that gallery rather than focus on the artwork for sale.
When we ran out of galleries to visit, I thought about the souvenir store that sold framed prints of fairy-like girls with big eyes I had seen with Jeff in the summer. I wanted to go take a look at them again. Unfortunately, we could not find the store and realized it might not exist anymore. I was slightly disappointed.
We continued walking on the sidewalk and realized that we were hungry. Jeff and I could see the Vieux Port Steakhouse across the street, but found that it was too early for dinner so we decided to just have a snack and coffee instead.
I suggested going to a restaurant Jeff and I had passed by a few times during leisure walks in old Montreal. The fact that it had creme brule advertised on one of their windows is what always caught my attention. I knew the restaurant was only a few blocks away from the Pointe-A Calliere museum, but didn't know in which direction to go from where we were standing.
Feeling slightly disoriented, Jeff and I headed in the direction of the St-Laurence River to see where we were in comparison with the archaeological museum.
It turns out that we weren't as close to the museum as we thought, but not that far away either. We started walking towards the building, heading in the direction we had just come from.
Normally, the walk on Place de la Commune Street would have been very pleasant, but there were a lot of places that weren't open as well as many construction sites so I joked about taking the non-scenic route.
My husband and I passed by the Scandinave Spa with no regrets about not spending the afternoon there or at the other nordic spa on a ship.
We finally found the restaurant we were looking for on St-Francois Xavier Street after doing a couple of detours, only to find the doors locked. The place had a sign out on the short cement staircase which advertised their specials, but their opening hours were not listed anywhere. We weren't sure if it was just closing, or would be opening later.
Most cafes in old Montreal closed at five and some restaurants only opened at that time.
Jeff and I went back on St-Paul street and walked all the way back to where we were when we realized we were hungry, and ended up going to the steakhouse. It looked busy, but we got a table right away.
We were seated close to a window, and I watched a few horse drawn carriages go by before ordering from the early diners' special as well as while I was drinking my red wine, or eating my salmon tartare entree plus steak and fries meal.
Jeff had his back turned to the stone wall and windows I could look through, so mainly had a view of the inside of the dimly lit restaurant. There were red square paintings of dark bull shadows on some of the walls, medieval looking chandeliers with safe lightbulbs rather than candles hanging from the ceiling, and a nice fireplace which was not lit.
My husband ordered a caesar salad because he remembered liking it the last time we had eaten at the Vieux Port Steakhouse. He had also enjoyed his steak at the time, but wanted to try their hamburger. As soon as he saw my plate with the tender meat on it, he regretted his decision and told me he would order the steak next time.
At least the burger was good, and Jeff was able to enjoy a cold beer with it.
As we ate and conversed, we saw a horse drawn carriage with two people in the coach's seat and wondered if one of the men was in training because there were seats available in the back. We saw the same carriage go by a little later and there was still the same two men in charge of directing the horse so that answered our question.
We also saw a group of smiling bridesmaids with a happy looking bride go by with a photographer. Another wedding! And I thought nobody except Jeff and I got married in April. I would not have picked a Spring wedding, but we did it for sentimental reasons; so that we could get married on the same date that we officially became a couple.
While we were talking, Jeff told me that the past year had been the best year of his life. As far as my love life was concerned it had been the best year for me as well. However, I could not forget the day Aidan was born or motherhood in general so could not say that my time with Jeff had been the best years ever. The way I worded my response came out wrong, but luckily Jeff knew what I meant.
When Jeff and I were done eating and drinking, my husband paid our bill and we left the restaurant to do some window shopping while looking for a cafe.
We ended up entering a few souvenir shops, but didn't stay in them for long nor did we buy anything.
The centre of old Montreal was deserted when we reached it, and I found it looked weird that way. I was so used to seeing traffic of people there and so many things going on at the same time. The small wooden hut which normally sold artwork as well as gelato, maple sugar products, and other sweets was closed. Most of the restaurants on our left seemed to be going through renovations. One boutique had its open sign in their door but it was pitch black inside so not very inviting. We figured somebody must have forgotten to turn the sign around to closed.
We continued walking on the left side of Place Jacque Cartier, and turned left onto Notre-Dame Street.
Jeff and I started heading back towards Place d'Armes Metro Station and realized for the first time that day that it was quite cold for the month of April; mostly because of the wind.
We found a new cafe called Mon Cafe and decided to give it a try. Jeff ordered himself a regular coffee and a mocha for me, then we sat at a small wooden table in a corner. There were wooden crates screwed to the wall beside us which were used as shelves, and small flower pots with plants inside were in each unit. My husband and I thought it was a neat idea.
We stayed in the wood scented cafe long after we finished our drinks, then eventually resumed our walk towards the metro station.
I decided to enter a random souvenir shop to warm up and ended up buying two articles of clothing; a long green skirt as well as a long black t-shirt or short dress with a skull on it.
When Jeff and I finally reached the metro station, we waited for the metro knowing we would most likely have to go on one of the old ones. We were correct, and joked about staying inside the station until the single new AZUR metro arrived.
We took the metro and bus back to our neighbourhood, and as we walked up Walkley Street we noticed that all the streetlights ahead weren't lit. All the windows of the houses we went by were pitched black.
Jeff and I realized that there was a power outage, but could see lights at our street corner so figured we would be unaffected. However, when we got closer to our apartment building we saw that it was dark and wondered how Aidan was doing without electricity. We imagined him cursing at the fact that he could not use his laptop, then thought about the fact that he had a battery.
I walked up the concrete steps of the building and tried to buzz once I was in the lobby, not thinking that if there was no electricity the buzzer would not work. Jeff used his keys to get inside our apartment, and Aidan showed up in the hallway using the light of his Ipod to see where he was going. Jeff soon turned his cell phone on for the same reason.
Aidan was very upset because he didn't have access to the internet. When Jeff and I asked him how long the power had been out, Aidan frustratedly said it had just happened and that he had been right in the middle of something.
My son had no interest in playing boardgames as I calmly suggested, saying they were boring, and soon retrieved to his bedroom pouting.
Luckily for me, Jeff was still in a good mood. The lack of electricity didn't bother my husband the way it did Aidan, and I didn't mind it either.
I lit the three wicks of a wood smelling candle in the living room which provided a lot of light, then lit our table top fireplace. I went to see Aidan and asked if he wanted me to bring him a safe lantern but he said no. He preferred to lie on his bed in complete darkness.
Ignoring my son's bad mood, I joined my husband in the living room.
I was about to go sit down on the couch with Jeff, but before doing so I grabbed the music box he had given me for Christmas and played Beethoven's "For Elise," telling my husband we had to make our own music.
Jeff decided to play some guitar so he went to get his instrument and sat down on a chair. I lied down on the couch and listened to him play his music.
Aidan came into the living room a few minutes later and realized that the power had returned because he saw the light from the portable telephone. He was gone almost as fast as he had come in.
Even though we could turn on the lights, I decided to keep them off and let the candle continue burning.
I eventually suggested Jeff and I open the bottle of apple cider we had bought two summers earlier at the Bonsecours Market in old Montreal, and put it in the freezer to make the liquid cold.
Jeff got up a little later to get the bottle and pop the cork in the kitchen. He said it might be loud, but I only herd a very faint pop from the living room.
My husband and I drank the cold cider from wine glasses in the living room by the fireplace and lit candle.
It was quite romantic, but with my son being awake Jeff and I felt it inappropriate to start anything sexual. When we want to be intimate, we usually at least wait until our usual bedtime to start anything so it's not as obvious.
At around ten o'clock, we said goodnight to Aidan and relocated to our bedroom where we made love.
I kept telling Jeff as a joke that after our anniversary the honeymoon phase would be over, but I hope that never happens.
I look forward to many more wonderful years with Jeff, and thought it would be interesting to create another time capsule with only pictures. I figured it would be neat to upload a single picture of Jeff and I every year to see how well we grow old together, and also to see our progressive physical changes.
When I spoke to Jeff about it, he seemed to like my idea so I created a very basic website and uploaded 3 pictures of us, one from 2014, another from 2015, and the last from 2016. Let's see if we remember to upload one every year from now on.
